Taking My Foot Off the Brake


Sabbath Moments and an awareness of God.

Awareness of God

Welcome to Colleen’s meme that she hosts on her blog Thoughts on Grace. Join us to share some of those moments when you either rested in the Lord this week or experienced Him in the ordinary.

 I do not understand the mystery of grace — only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us.” ― Anne Lamott

Grace changes me, often in spite of myself. Although I said yes to God

when I was 16 and heroically tried to surrender all of myself to Him, it was impossible because I was not free or healed enough to let go of my masks and fears. So I earnestly performed all the right spiritual exercises and disciplines.  My  spiritual practices were counter productive because I was proudly doing everything under my power.

I call it The Tea and Me Trap. The tea was the caffeine fuel I needed to keep me running somewhat efficiently. I was a dedicated Christian who had a relationship to Jesus and was filled with His Spirit but still not allowing His Spirit free reign within my heart and will. The sort of earnest striving I did was  pagan. A Christian surrenders to the grace and mercy of God, then watches Him work within his heart and soul.

The irony is that I long for freedom but cling to my wounds and refuse to be loved out of fear. Only when my present course is insane or killing me, only then do I let go of control. Change happens when I surrender  pride and admit to being, doing, thinking or feeling something that is counter productive. Then I let go and allow an unexpected experience of God to turn me around.
CHANGE has always seemed impossible if I think too much about it. Although growth is organic and  automatic once I say yes and take my foot off the brake.
Ironically, when all the major decisions in my life, all the 180 degree changes sprang up, I immediately knew I had to say yes.
From
encountering God out of the blue and accepting Him,
becoming Catholic
marrying…we had seen each other in person 11 days before we were engaged.
moving across the country,
deciding to have a large family,
moving to a farm, to raise healthy food and keep our kids of the street.
I made all these major life changes  in the snap of a finger because I knew, deep down in my core that these were the right decisions for me and later us as a family.
melissaslifeworthliving.wordpress.com
melissaslifeworthliving.wordpress.com

13 thoughts on “Taking My Foot Off the Brake

  1. “The irony is that I long for freedom but cling to my wounds and refuse to be loved out of fear. Only when my present course is insane or killing me, only then do I let go of control. Change happens when I surrender pride and admit to being, doing, thinking or feeling something that is counter productive. Then I let go and allow an unexpected experience of God to turn me around.”

    Well said. Maybe we could riff the great AA motto, “Let go and let God” and add, “Let go and be loved.”

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  2. Letting go. Trust in God. Surrender. We all need to do that. over and over. Thank goodness God is patient with us. Beautiful post. Thanks for joining us in Sabbath Moments!

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      1. When they say “You can’t take it with you.” grace is the exception to the rule, being that it is God’s own life, infused by the Holy Spirit into our soul.

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