If You Must Curse,Please Use Your Own Name. -GOD

Posted in communication, writing, humour, spirituality

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How can one better magnify the Almighty than by sniggering with him at his little jokes, particularly the poorer ones.~ Samuel Becket

Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying, but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic? ~ Lily Tomlin

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee and I’ll forgive Thy great big one on me.

~ Robert Frost

If God lived on earth, people would break his windows.
~ Jewish Proverb

Nobody talks so constantly about God as those who insist that there is no God.
~ Heywood Broun

If there were no God, there would be no atheists.

~ Gilbert K. Chesterton

If you gain, you gain all; if you lose, you lose nothing.

Wager then without hesitation, that He exists.
~ Blaise Pascal

How can one better magnify the Almighty than by sniggering with him at his little jokes, particularly the poorer ones.~ Samuel Becket

I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle.

I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much.
~ Mother Teresa

I find it discouraging – and a bit depressing – when I notice the unequal treatment afforded by the media to UFO believers on the one hand, and on the other, to those who believe in an invisible supreme being who inhabits the sky.
~ George Carlin

After creating the heaven, the earth, the ocean, and the entire animal kingdom, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was “Don’t.”
~ Bill Cosby

http://funnyquotesweb.blogspot.ca/search/label/Funny%20Inspirational%20Quotes

Published by melanie jean juneau

Melanie Jean Juneau serves as the Editor in Chief of Catholic Stand. She is a mother of nine children who has edited her kid's university term papers for over a decade. She blogs at joy of nine9 and mother of nine9. Her writing is humorous and heart warming; thoughtful and thought-provoking. Part of her call and her witness is to write the truth about children, family, marriage and the sacredness of life. Melanie is the administrator of ACWB, a columnist at CatholicLane, CatholicStand, Catholic365 , CAPC, author of Echoes of the Divine and Oopsy Daisy, and coauthor of Love Rebel: Reclaiming Motherhood.

13 thoughts on “If You Must Curse,Please Use Your Own Name. -GOD”

  1. I try to encourage my DH to stop taking the Lord’s name in vain when he’s upset. I’m hoping he’ll begin using his OWN name after reading the “message” from God. 😉

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  2. Pingback: If You Must Curse,Please Use Your Own Name. -GOD - CATHOLIC FEAST - Every day is a Celebration
  3. Pingback: If You Must Curse,Please Use Your Own Name. -GOD | Catholic Canada

  5. I really try my best NEVER to swear … unless I miss the nail and hammer my finger instead!

    These are fantastic quotations Melanie. Thank you so much for taking the trouble to gather them and publish them here. I particularly like the Mother Teresa one.

    God bless you Melanie.

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  7. Pingback: Sunday Snippets–A Catholic Carnival | joy of nine9

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