What would be the absolute worst thing that could happen to a nice Protestant girl?
Why Mary, the Blessed Virgin, would do a little interior house cleaning, then make a home for herself in the poor girl’s heart, that’s what! If that was not bad enough, this perplexed young woman’s belief system would stay staunchly anti-Catholic for oh, about another 10 years, even though she had converted to Catholicism. I mean what choice did she have? Nobody but the Catholic Church even wants someone who craves the Eucharist and has a relationship with the Mother of Christ.
Obviously this young woman was and is me. God has a peculiar sense of humor and now I can look back and laugh at my dilemma. At the time, though I was shook up. As Pope Francis said at the Easter Vigil, God delights in shaking us up, or as I like to say, ripping the rug from underneath us. Nope, God will not stay in a nice, neat little box of our own making. Just when we think we have Him all figured out, He pulls another fast one on us. Thank goodness; life is never boring when you give God permission to work in your life.
I was reluctant to turn to Mary, I couldn’t help but feel like a heretic somehow turning from Jesus as my only Savior. Yet over and over, God only offered healing and peace when I turned to His Mother. Finally a wonderful priest from Madonna House, the Director General of Priests. Fr. Bob Pelton, smiled at me compassionately and said something like this:
“Melanie, why don’t you relax for a few months and stop tormenting yourself with guilt? Simply relax into the bosom of the Church and Her teachings and allow your relationship to Mary grow naturally, without fighting everything with your intellect? Trust in your own heart as well.”
Even now, some 30 years later, tears are welling up and I could weep with relief all over again as I write these words. Somehow I was given the grace to lay down my logic, reasoning and Protestant theology and simply throw my self into the arms of my Spiritual Mother.
I. MARY’S MOTHERHOOD WITH REGARD TO THE CHURCH
968Her role in relation to the Church and to all humanity goes still further. “In a wholly singular way she cooperated by her obedience, faith, hope, and burning charity in the Savior’s work of restoring supernatural life to souls. For this reason she is a mother to us in the order of grace.”
“This motherhood of Mary in the order of grace continues uninterruptedly from the consent which she loyally gave at the Annunciation and which she sustained without wavering beneath the cross, until the eternal fulfillment of all the elect. Taken up to heaven she did not lay aside this saving office but by her manifold intercession continues to bring us the gifts of eternal salvation . . . . Therefore the Blessed Virgin is invoked in the Church under the titles of Advocate, Helper, Benefactress, and Mediatrix.“
Actually, we really do not have a clue what we are saying “yes” to in the beginning of our Christian walk. At our wedding, 34 years ago, I sensed these words within my heart:
“I will change the way the two of you work and play, the way you walk and talk, the way you laugh and cry, everything about you, so that in everything you are and do, you will reflect the glory of my Father in Heaven.”
Foolishly we thought that this was a nice word from God! Little did we know that 34 years later we would still be being turned inside out. I agree whole heartedly with Pope Francis, God does seem to delight in shaking us out from our narrow little lives. I could not live any other way. His thoughts and ways are far above ours. Just when I think I know it all, that I understand the spiritual life, He upends my life yet again.
Thank-you God for not listening to my opinions, theology or plans for my life.
Thank-you for the grace to give You permission to take over .
Thank-you for making me Yours and giving me to your Mother.
16 thoughts on “Mary is Living in My Heart? Help!”
You write to my heart. Thank you.
the best response
That priest put it so well. I was so busy preparing to defend Her, I forgot to just rest under her mantle. Whatever happened to our faith simply being a mystery that we don’t have to understand? This was beautiful and encouraging Melanie ~ as always.
🙂 I mean who do we think we are anyway in the face ot a Eternal God and His mysteries?!!
I would have never guessed you are a convert. Great conversion story. (I love conversion stories!) It’s been 30 years so I don’t think welcome is warrented, but let me just say it’s wonderful that you did. 🙂
If i count accurately, it is lamost 40 years!!! Hey that is a compliment, if you would never have guessed!
what a beautiful pic of Our Lady. Thanks for sharing!
I find a bit of my story of embracing Holy Mother in your post. It is a long time stepping closer as a convert. I have circled her for many years and still step lightly. She is so patient and loving and I am so thankful to be near. All is gift. Thank you for sharing a part of your journey toward Her. May your trust and ours grow. God Bless…
may our trust grow and inspire each other..circling is good, each round grows closer
Great post, Melanie. Along the time I was rebellious and angry at the patriarchy, the Church’s love for Mary was one of the only things that kept me near. I’m so thankful for it. And her!
that is a heartwarmimg story..you should tell it sometime
simply beautiful…”well done, good & faithful servant.” Hugs & Blessings!
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