I am a slave to time.
I see my life in God as a progression, a journey. This attitude is tainted even more by the human tendency to turn everything into a contest, a competition. In my sinfulness, I want to climb the ladder to perfection, to be the best. Although it seems like a holy goal to strain towards sainthood, I manage to corrupt the entire progress by focusing on
my spiritual discipline,
my self sacrifices and effort.
Such an artificial, pitiful, kingdom of self.
However time is not linear for God.
God’s view is the complete opposite of mine because He is not a slave of time.
He is the Lord of time.
He is the first and the last.
One second is like a thousand years and a thousand years are but a moment, a blink of an eye for the eternal Lord of all the universe.
He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.
God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.
In reality life in God is not a prize to be won.
I will always be beginner because my new life starts and ends with God loving and saving me as I surrender pride and self-sufficiency. I am simply His child who merely says, “Yes” in giving up my role as the queen of my little kingdom. This was the first step I took at 17 and will be the last step when I die.
In the meantime,
life in the Spirit means
I look at God and
He looks at me.
simply live in communion with Him.
God reminds me to rest.
Resting means giving up control.
Resting is simply relaxing in His presence as I allow the Holy Spirit to transform me.
So simple that it is child’s play yet so difficult for every serious, hard working adult.