The pivotal point in my personal and spiritual growth was realizing that, in fear, I clung to control. I have let go of this control at least a thousand times already. A thousand times of choosing to surrender fear and lies and trusting. Each time I peel back a layer, another deeper level of fear pops up.
Surrender is not a popular word in our modern culture. In fact surrendering my outer life seems like such a big deal that I resist. I cling to control almost like an idiot who thinks that she is clinging to a cliff with her finger nails, afraid to let go lest she fall to her death. Of course it is an irrational fear, rooted in my subconscious. Actually there is no cliff with a rock bottom. When I finally let go, it is a short drop into the loving arms of God. My fear of letting go is especially ridiculous in the light of God’s unconditional love, mercy and patience which He has proved to me many times, thousands of times.
God holds my true self. My true self hidden in God who is at my centre.I am safe here, at peace, flowing in and through the Spirit. This is where I choose to live. This is the last surrender of my false self and my fears. This is where I choose to live this year, in freedom and joy. I can choose to switch gears from a place of fear and control, to visit this secret place in the snap of a finger. However, I only function here for as long as a snap of a finger. This year I choose to stay here, surrendered to God, living in, with and through Him.
James 4:7
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
Galatians 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Luke 1:38
And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her.
joy of nine9 
Surrendering is difficult. Fear is hard to conquer. These are what we all struggle with. We need to continue, despite our failures, with faith, hope and charity. This is what He desires.
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yes- thank-you, sometimes it seems I am the only one, when it is all people
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Excellent post. Complete surrender is the hardest part of my journey. I’ve improved but I have a long way to go. Thanks for the reminder.
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thank-you, Manny
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Letting go and trusting that all is well and going according to plan (even if it is definitely not our plan and we are not sure where it will take us) is so, so difficult. I struggle with this, as do most of my friends. But those moments when I can just let go of the control are so awesome!
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welcome to the club
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What should my life look like after the surrender? I feel like I’ve said words of surrender to God many times but nothing’s really changed much in my daily life.
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welcome to the club.. I also have done it humdreds of times because the death of our ego is not one huge surrender but many, each time we go deeper, open another closet, another memory, another facet of our character. it does not mean that we have faile before, it means we are complex and one big death and infilling of His Presence would propbably kill our mortal bodies
we cannot force it; the process is in God’s hands.. but more and more inner joy and a sense of freedom will come
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