The pivotal point in my personal and spiritual growth was realizing that, in fear, I clung to control. I have let go of this control at least a thousand times already. A thousand times of choosing to surrender fear and lies and trusting. Each time I peel back a layer, another deeper level of fear pops up.
Surrender is not a popular word in our modern culture. In fact surrendering my outer life seems like such a big deal that I resist. I cling to control almost like an idiot who thinks that she is clinging to a cliff with her finger nails, afraid to let go lest she fall to her death. Of course it is an irrational fear, rooted in my subconscious. Actually there is no cliff with a rock bottom. When I finally let go, it is a short drop into the loving arms of God. My fear of letting go is especially ridiculous in the light of God’s unconditional love, mercy and patience which He has proved to me many times, thousands of times.
God holds my true self. My true self hidden in God who is at my centre.I am safe here, at peace, flowing in and through the Spirit. This is where I choose to live. This is the last surrender of my false self and my fears. This is where I choose to live this year, in freedom and joy. I can choose to switch gears from a place of fear and control, to visit this secret place in the snap of a finger. However, I only function here for as long as a snap of a finger. This year I choose to stay here, surrendered to God, living in, with and through Him.
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her.