Family Trauma and Forgiveness


In the past six months, my large family of eleven has been bombarded with illness, cancer, a threat of a premature birth of our fifth grandchild,  celebrated  the birth of a fourth grandchild,  suffered with  a daughter cracking under  a combination of  duress and post traumatic stress,  lived through first year university drama and uncovered past wounds that are only now surfacing to the light. All nine of my adult kids, my husband and I have experienced panic and fear. Some reacted with anger, others with anxiety and still others with depression but through it all I know that I know that God is bringing everything out into the light to heal us. In the end we will be closer than ever.


I have rediscovered the power of humility, forgiveness and  letting go of control. Everything in me screams to protect, patch up, smooth over, especially in the face of rage. BUT, I cannot control the way each person processes trauma or demanding situations. I mess up when i react and defend or try to appease. Patience and silence is much more effective. God has a chance to move and whisper in those silent places.cropped-cropped-cropped-thehandofgod41.jpg


C.S. Lewis is right on the mark when he talks about forgivenessforgive-cs-lewis-picture-quote




i have a friend who likes to say if you can,t look at someone, even someone like Hitler, and see him with eyes of compassion and forgiveness, well, then, there is something in YOU that has to go. Love and compassion ‘covers a multitude of sins’.695d63ec2b90e25357ef9785599caabf-1


The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant- Matthew 18: 21, 22
21Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”22Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.


For God to intervene on earth, he sometimes needs an intercessor. sometimes the Holy Spirit needs just one open window, one landing strip , one lightening rod or radio antennae for his power to break through and touch and heal. My husband and I are now open windows, two landing strips and we are seeing marvelous changes happening before our eyes.

18 thoughts on “Family Trauma and Forgiveness

  1. Melanie, you’re right God will and is bringing healing. He has already started His work. We as readers are praying for you and your family. Saint Joseph pray for them, Mother Mary pray for them, they need help from heaven. God I ask you to continue to bring about healing and minister to them by Your Holy Spirit, in Jesus’ Name, Amen. God bless.


  2. God woke me up an hour early to read your post! I’ve been spiritually troubled over a family trauma especially of late, and your post brought me consolation. Thank you for sharing it.


    1. Through some amazing training I had in Gestalt therapy, I learned (and am continually learning) that my anger, perhaps, is representing a part of me that needs my own compassion and love in order to heal. Not my judgement or shaming, which is what I used to do. As I bring the angry part of me into the light, I turn towards her, listen for what she needs, and provide my own compassion. Listening to myself and changing my inner conversation has been the key to all my healing (and GOD, of course!).
      Sending you prayers, love, and light.


      1. i have never had any gestalt training but I am slowly learning similar things….compassion and forgiveness are the keys to any kind of growth, emotional, spiritual and psycologicalto be kind to myself, especially my inner child. if i judge her, shake her in frustration, she just digs in her heels and refuses to forgive, let go of anger


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