Birthed in a Crucible of Despair

images (2)A true story

After a grueling nursing shift,

Caroline sat alone, slumped, at the kitchen table.

Head bowed down, resting on her arms

with a glass of cold beer beside her.

Just like the other night and the night before that..


A traumatic childhood,

A husband dead after eight years of wedded torment,

Caroline wasimages (3)



Too exhausted now to carry out any nefarious plans she had concocted to end her own life.

Depressed , empty, seemingly devoid of hope

At a dead-end of nothingness.

Yet, a tiny flicker appeared, a flame of inspiration birthed in a crucible of despair

A thought rose up, swelling until all other notions were pushed aside,

a thought of surrendering everything to God.

Her past, present and future with plans, hopes, desires and disappointments.

Even more, Caroline offered her identity, her very core self.

Suddenly she grew warm, pleasantly warm,

Felt an actual physical heat on her arms, back

Raising her head she was startled to see a beam of light focused just around where she sat

but the room, the room looked different, brighter, as if a veil lifted off her eyes.

Then Caroline smiled

sensing words,

words within,

strange words

” Live in the Light. Seek the Truth.”

She glanced at the ever-present beer.

“Did those words have something to do with that glass of beer?

What if, just for tonight, she didn’t drink that beer or the next one after that?

Was that part of living in the light?

Caroline smiled,

dumped the glass

miraculously fell asleep, into a deep, restful sleep

A sleep that was the beginning of a new way of living.

” Live in the Light. Seek the Truth.”

It became her mantra, guiding her like a beacon for years to come.

Two simple sentences.

” Live in the Light. Seek the Truth.”


5 thoughts on “Birthed in a Crucible of Despair

  1. Mary Fredal on LinedIn
    Yes. … There is a point when we ALL reach an end of ourselves … when the empty loneliness and despair of our thinking we are “god” in our own lives proves to ill-equip us to solve the matters of life that extend far beyond our frail human abilities.

    … It is at that point that we see the Truth … that GOD is real … that GOD reigns over the affairs of men … that the source of true Wisdom and Power comes from Almighty GOD and not from ourselves … and we happily accept that GOD is the Vine and we are but a branch who draws all that is in our life from the Vine who is our Source.


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