I long for change, the kind which will set me free in God.
However, if I want to change simply to please someone else or to fit into society out of vanity, that is a false wish for a change.
I am not talking about the kind of exterior adaptation which involves switching masks or, changing clothes, learning new tricks.
No, the kind of change I long for is deep-seated and involves shedding phony masks and removing costumes, not putting on more layers.
To make drastic changes in my life means I must first deal with my interior issues. It means turning the key and opening a door.
Sometimes I open the door and darkness rushes out. All those negative emotions were never meant to be stored in me in the first place. Yet they seemed so overwhelming that I kept the door shut and locked. Finally fed up, desperate to change and grow, I turn the key with foreboding.
A process larger than myself takes over because I took the first step and said yes to change and growth. I now watch in amazement as Light and Love begins the transformation of bringing this part of my being back to life. The result is a drastic change in my exterior life.
I do not force this change because it happens automatically and rises up from deep within me. My true inner spirit, slowly emerging from layers of mud to rise up and take centre stage in my being.
I am at peace in God who actually was the one who accomplished all in me.