I was struggling to put down in words an encounter with God which happened on Friday, January 15, 2016 . . . yesterday. I knew for the change to take root, I had to articulate the experience so I would remember and not fall into old patterns once again, as I have a thousand other times. The joy was too wonderful to allow it to dissipate.
Then I ran across paintings by the Catholic artist Ladislav Zaborsky this morning. His art helped clarify and communicate my experiences with God because the essence of his work is linked to the experience of his inner life. Each painting is an attempt to discover God, eternity. He is a painter of spiritual light.
“The substance of my work is the experience of God transferred into my heart (…) Art that seeks truth and beauty is the anticipation of eternity.”
For decades, I have longed to say with St. Paul, ” I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20
YET
Even though I have been a committed Christian since my mid-teens, perhaps since I was still a tiny child
And a Catholic convert for 41 years
Even though I have been graced with thousands of Divine encounters
Encounters which have shaken me
Healed me
Empowered me
Each and every time the flame of His Presence
Touched me, I was changed.
Yet my deepest self still did not rest in the Love of God.
I did not fully trust and surrender control to the Almighty.
Rather fear gripped the tiny child within,
Imprisoning her in isolation.
The door seemed locked, bolted shut
Secretly, I believed a lie; Divine love would hurt me.
Divine Love would destroy the crushed reed of my inner self, snuff out my flickering flame.
Once again, yesterday, I repented as I have for a thousand times.
Once again I wept
But this time, something shifted deeper
This time, I understood the key and bolt were not on the other side of the door but on my side
I simply touched the door and it swung open,
Opening into a garden, a lush garden.
It was Eden, a heavenly Eden
A place of peace and security, safe.
Then a beam of light shone down on my three-year-old self.
The cursed generational hand which had gripped my soul from the grave for decades,
Finally lay shrivelled at my feet.
My heart soared with a tangible joy as an intimate Love flooded my heart
Christ IS my defender, my consoler, my constant companion.
My only reason for existing. I now smile as I surrender control for it really is possible to say:
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Gal 2:20
joy of nine9 
Gorgeous, Melanie!!!
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praying with paint is a much better title, Anna
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Much better title…
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Hmm, I feel drawn to celebrate with you in this, to throw my face to the sun and sing. Instead this post lays upon my shoulders, heavy yet warm, comforting yet calling me forward. Instead of singing I’m asked to seek and discover. I thank you for that.
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your response is a gift, pure and simple and straight from God Himself
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Melanie…Thank you. I have followed your posts for about a year now, and have wondered what it was about you that has always seemed so familiar. May I ask that you respond to me, concerning this post, privately? Please let me know one way or the other whether you are willing to do this. A bit about myself; I am a cradle Catholic, 65 yrs old, mother of 3, married for 35 years, a teacher, living on Cape Cod, very active in my parish, Our Lady of the Cape. Thank you so much, Melanie – God Bless your work.
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0f course.. simply email me at mjmjuneau@gmail.com
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Melanie, not only was the art gorgeous – I’ve never heard of Ladislav Zaborsk before – but your testimony was stunning. I’ve pondered over that St. Paul many times myself, and have wondered if that would ever happen to me. That is the culmination of a Christian journey. It has not happened to me.
I think I’ll link this on my blog.
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It will. It is already happening becaue Divine light is so bright, all we sense and see is not the Divine light flowing in but only the darkness leaving. And so we feel like failures when so much is happening in our depths, unseen. But you know all about that sort of stuff in your line of work.
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Thank you for the encouragement. I did highlight your post on my blog:
http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/2016/01/faith-filled-friday-art-of-ladislav.html
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Hi Melanie
I would like to request permission to use the image of Mary holding the jar of oil by Ladislav Zaborsk (found on Pinterest No. 2) for a one off 2 minute film pitch on Mary Magdalene’s love for Christ. I have looked at Ladislav’s website but can’t find terms of use.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Thanks
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When I feature an artist, I feel that the exposure will benefit the artist and usually do not ask permission. I could not reach Ladislav Zaborski either
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Melanie,
Have you ever considered practicing “The Jesus Prayer”? It is also referred to as the “Prayer of the Heart.” It is the primary prayer of the Orthodox Christian church and is extremely powerful. It has been prayed for hundreds of years, has countless books written about it, and whole monasteries where it is prayed.
There are many, many accounts of it transforming people into saints and granting them the continual experience of the Presence of Christ within and around them. There are countless mystical experiences attributed to the long-term practice of this prayer. It is a reliable means of sanctification
The Jesus Prayer is “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.”
The first day I prayed it 1000 times I distinctly felt my heart opening and this wonderful feeling of Christ’s love igniting in me. Highly recommend checking it out. Many articles, videos, and books written on it.
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