Christian spirituality, inner transformation, and contemplation are not at all what I first imagined them to be.
I initially began the inner journey striving, depending on my discipline and will power.
JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER HUMAN, l failed miserably.
Striving to transform spiritually into a person of Love and Light is sort of like an ant straining and trying to turn himself into a human
When I admitted defeat, God had an opportunity to save me from myself
When I depend only on myself, I am in a sense wasting the work done on the cross; I am stealing God’s job because i am trying to save, purify and sanctify myself with my energy, strategy, and effort.
When I gave up , exhausted, I untied God’s hands; I gave Him permission to redeem me.
When I let go of control and quit trying to understand the inexplicable, miracles started happening, real miracles.
When I opened my deepest core self to His Spirit, I started to watch God work in and through me as He saved me and all those around me.
There is utter simplicity and therefore freedom when we give up, let go of control and let God be the Lord in practical, nitty-gritty details of our life.
Then, we live in joy as children of God.
We really must be reborn in the Spirit and truth and that is not a job for me but the Spirit of God in me.
connecting with Theology is a Verb
joy of nine9 
Melanie, a while back I posted a question and because of the way I worded it you may have thought I was trying to bait you. But I really want to know what drew you to Catholicism from the Charismatic movement? I was raised Conservative Baptist with a little Episcopalian mixed in (I love liturgy) until I was 12. Then my mother got involved in the Charismatic movement (in the 1960s, which began in the Catholic church), so I was involved in that through college & my first marriage (nominally for those later years). I’ve been happiest with a group of people I met at the local PCUSA (liberal presbyterian), but the current minister is not my cup of tea–more politics & book reports rather than sound teaching. So I’ve been in what I laughingly call a “crisis of faith” for about 20 yrs. I’m kind of floundering around “religiously” (but less so spiritually, if you understand what I mean). I’d really love your perspective on this. If you have something you’ve published that tells your story, please let me know. Thank you. w
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p.s. I must have missed your comment- I try never to ignore any comment, even the baited ones 🙂
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I think my first reply is below in a separate comment rather than as a reply to you
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well, I was raised in the Presbyterian Church, filled with the Spirit with the Jesus People, and became a Catholic while part of Catholic Charismatic Prayer group, under the direction of a Jesuit priest.
The best way to start is to direct you to my “conversion posts”and then I would love to dialogue with you
https://melaniejeanjuneau.wordpress.com/2016/01/11/surprised-by-god-into-the-heart-of-the-church/
https://melaniejeanjuneau.wordpress.com/2015/10/25/10-facts-about-my-faith-journey/?relatedposts_hit=1&relatedposts_origin=17977&relatedposts_position=2
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How Do you know you are crucified with Christ? I read your previous posts those words just kind of stick. Explain what you can. Thanks for your art and stories , uplifting , transparent, real stuff!
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It is a process, again and again we choose to let go. Again and again we must say the words, ‘accept you as my Saviour”, I allow you to save me, I let go of my ego, thinking I can save myself, I humbly crucify my pride
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Thank you – very insightful – good good words. God Bless
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nah- I will try again tomorrow- the more we surrender, the mote Light flows in, the more Christ lives in us- “No Longer i the lives but Christ who lives in Me”. It is not a fairytale, it is not just for the saints, this is the normal Christian life
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Beautiful. Thank you.
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Melanie, this is beautiful! And worthy of a reblog!! Don’t be surprised if you see it soon! Hugs to you for your sharing!
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